Antifragile confidence is the idea of intensely trusting ourselves, such that we know that we can not only handle whatever life throws at us, but that we can get stronger as a result. The main prerequisite to forging antifragile confidence is coming to terms with the #1 rule of self-improvement. Life is supposed to be challenging! All the good things in life are difficult to attain or achieve, that’s what gives them value. If it was easy everyone would do the difficult but rewarding things. Think back to your favorite inspirational movie. Maybe it’s Rocky, Forrest Gump, or Fight Club. What’s the one thing your favorite inspiring movie and all other inspiring movies have in common? A hero who faces extraordinary challenges, If Rocky was about Rocky Balboa fighting a 10 year old we all would have gotten up and walked out of the movie theater, right? That’s because there’s no value in overcoming an effortless trial. There’s value in difficulty because the rewards of life are a result of enduring and overcoming the difficulties of life. So don’t resent the obstacles of life, because whatever is in the way becomes the way
Antifragility is more complex than it seems. There’s a big difference between being fragile, resilient, and antifragile. The fragile person breaks easily, the resilient person can withstand more stress before breaking down and then bounces back a little quicker than most. But what about the opposite of fragile→What would happen if the more you got kicked around, the stronger you got? What if challenges fueled you rather than leaving you gassed. What would you be called? You’d be AntiFragile. This metaphor from Brian Johnson’s book Areté really drives the point home.
“Imagine the wind. It’s a strong wind
Now… That strong wind will EXTINGUISH a candle.
But… It will FUEL a FIRE”
There’s essentially two options when it comes to the inevitable “winds” of life. Showing up like a candle and getting blown out by the first breeze or showing up with a heroic fire such that the strong winds are simply fuel. So show up like a fire and grow from the trials and tribulations of life.
Confidence is not nearly as simple as it seems. To emphasize this, the root meaning of confidence comes from the two little Latin words. Confidence breaks down into con and fidere. This literally translates to “with intense trust.” But, intense trust in what? Intense trust in ourselves! An intense trust such that when life doesn’t go according to plan, it doesn’t matter! Because we know that we can not only handle whatever life throws at us, but we can and will get stronger as a result! That’s antifragile confidence!
The kind of deep trust that fuels antifragile confidence isn’t handed to you — it’s earned, just like any other form of trust. To build that trust in yourself — the kind where your mind doesn’t disobey your heart—follow the same principles that strengthen any relationship. The key? Always do what you say you will do. So build an intense trust in yourself and hold yourself accountable by always getting the work done, especially when you don’t feel like it!