{"id":346549,"date":"2022-04-01T08:00:00","date_gmt":"2022-04-01T12:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/knightlife.paceacademy.org\/knightlynews\/?p=346549"},"modified":"2022-03-31T09:25:06","modified_gmt":"2022-03-31T13:25:06","slug":"wizard-to-be-face-of-new-dump-truck-campaign","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/knightlife.paceacademy.org\/knightlynews\/2022\/04\/01\/wizard-to-be-face-of-new-dump-truck-campaign\/","title":{"rendered":"Wizard To Be Face Of New Dump Truck Campaign"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"
Wizard is now the face of an emerging dump truck company.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Whether squatting behind home plate or strolling through the commons, senior Jonathan \u201cWizard\u201d Merlin is guaranteed to have eyes follow him. Now, I know what you might be thinking, but it is not because of his luscious locks or his impeccable taste in athleisure wear.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Walking through the halls, it is not uncommon to hear students put Wizard and Kardashian in the same sentence. After all, Kim and Wizard have remarkably similar…shapes. This raises the oh-so-important questions: are they \u201cau naturale\u201d as they claim? Did they use the same surgeon? What procedure did they have done? Is it just the SKIMS shapewear?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Last month, during a biology lecture on the dangers of surgery, Wizard spoke out about his feelings on plastic surgery. \u201cI just see no need to go under the knife if it could result in death,\u201d he said. \u201cBesides I would rather earn my dream body rather than buy it.\u201d One of his close friends confirmed Wizard\u2019s fear of doctors in general. \u201cHe cries like a baby when he goes to get his flu shot,\u201d said senior Samuel \u201cBread\u201d Bready. \u201cUnless he was hammered, there is no way that man would get plastic surgery.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

It is clear that plastic surgery was not responsible for the Wizard\u2019s hourglass shape. So what is? A behind that round is not achieved by squatting a few times each day at baseball practice. That left only two options: a careful selection of light grey lululemon joggers or something hidden under the soft, luxurious fabric of said joggers.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Wishing he could look like Wizard in his baseball pants, senior captain of the baseball team Jae Williams decided to investigate. \u201cOne day while he was in the batting cage, I went through his bag, and you are not going to believe what I found,\u201d said Williams. \u201cHe had an entire bag full of butt pads.\u201d Williams, baffled yet relieved Wizard had not outworked him in the weight room, went on to describe his findings. \u201cHe had all different color pads, each with a different day of the week written on them.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Wizard immediately began defending himself once he looked over and saw Williams holding his pink cheetah print Friday pad in the air. \u201cI have my reasons,\u201d said Wizard. \u201cOne, the chairs at Pace are uncomfortable. Two, it is a conversation starter with girls because they always ask about my workout routine.\u201d Wizard\u2019s embarrassment was soon squashed as he heard a voice in the back of the locker room. \u201cAy yo Wiz where you buy those? I want some,\u201d hollered senior Greyson Oberry.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

APRIL FOOLS!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Whether squatting behind home plate or strolling through the commons, senior Jonathan \u201cWizard\u201d Merlin is guaranteed to have eyes follow him. Now, I know what you might be thinking, but it is not because of his luscious locks or his impeccable taste in athleisure wear.\u00a0 Walking through the halls, itContinue Reading<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":441,"featured_media":346712,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["entry","author-","post-346549","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-pacenews"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/knightlife.paceacademy.org\/knightlynews\/files\/2022\/03\/WIZrgb.jpg?fit=432%2C264&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1TYqQ-1s9v","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/knightlife.paceacademy.org\/knightlynews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/346549","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/knightlife.paceacademy.org\/knightlynews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/knightlife.paceacademy.org\/knightlynews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/knightlife.paceacademy.org\/knightlynews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/441"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/knightlife.paceacademy.org\/knightlynews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=346549"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/knightlife.paceacademy.org\/knightlynews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/346549\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":346805,"href":"https:\/\/knightlife.paceacademy.org\/knightlynews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/346549\/revisions\/346805"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/knightlife.paceacademy.org\/knightlynews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/346712"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/knightlife.paceacademy.org\/knightlynews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=346549"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/knightlife.paceacademy.org\/knightlynews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=346549"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/knightlife.paceacademy.org\/knightlynews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=346549"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}