{"id":346454,"date":"2022-04-01T08:00:00","date_gmt":"2022-04-01T12:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/knightlife.paceacademy.org\/knightlynews\/?p=346454"},"modified":"2022-03-31T09:22:51","modified_gmt":"2022-03-31T13:22:51","slug":"granola-bar-connoisseur-mr-smith-boycotts-cliff-bars","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/knightlife.paceacademy.org\/knightlynews\/2022\/04\/01\/granola-bar-connoisseur-mr-smith-boycotts-cliff-bars\/","title":{"rendered":"Granola Bar Connoisseur Mr. Smith Boycotts Cliff Bars"},"content":{"rendered":"

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Upper School math teacher Jason Smith looking away from the Cliff Bar in disgust. Photo: David Fu<\/figcaption>\n<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n

On his return to school for Spring Break, self-proclaimed granola bar connoisseur Jason Smith announced that he would be boycotting Cliff bars. \u201cOver the past couple of years, the quality has gone down and the price has increased,\u201d said Mr. Smith. \u201cI don\u2019t think anybody should be buying or eating them anymore.\u201d Along with these statements, he has openly insulted the once-beloved Cliff bars and now thinks of them as \u201cfilthy, overpriced trash.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Instead of eating Cliff Bars, he has elected Kellogg\u2019s Nutri-Grain Bars to replace them. \u201cI discovered Nutri-Grain bars for the first time when I was experimenting with new granola bar brands during Spring Break. It was a life-changing experience,\u201d said Mr. Smith. \u201cWith a whopping 2 grams of protein and 130 calories per serving, these bars are the greatest things ever made.\u201d He also claims that these bars have the perfect amount of sweetness and aren\u2019t as dry as Cliff Bars.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Although this seems like a harmless announcement, some students see this announcement as a complete betrayal. \u201cI have known Mr. Smith for a while now, and from the time I met him, he was always in love with Cliff Bars. He would go on 3 hour-long lectures about how great Cool Mint Chocolate Chip Cliff Bars tasted, and he would always be praising them,\u201d said Senior Kargil Behl. “I just can\u2019t believe that he would betray Cliff Bars like that.\u201d There has been some speculation that Mr. Smith is making these claims for financial gain. When he was still enjoying Cliff Bars, he would buy each box himself and received nothing from the company. However, there is suspicion that Kelloggs has offered him a sponsorship to support Nutri-Grain bars in order for their product to sell better in the snack bar. Although the details of the contract are unknown, Mr. Smith has been avoiding questions that talk about Kelloggs as a whole.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

April fools!<\/p>\n\n\n

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On his return to school for Spring Break, self-proclaimed granola bar connoisseur Jason Smith announced that he would be boycotting Cliff bars. \u201cOver the past couple of years, the quality has gone down and the price has increased,\u201d said Mr. Smith. \u201cI don\u2019t think anybody should be buying or eatingContinue Reading<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":467,"featured_media":346762,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["entry","author-david-fu24paceacademy-org","post-346454","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-pacenews"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/knightlife.paceacademy.org\/knightlynews\/files\/2022\/03\/Cliff_BarRGB.jpg?fit=719%2C958&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1TYqQ-1s7Y","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/knightlife.paceacademy.org\/knightlynews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/346454","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/knightlife.paceacademy.org\/knightlynews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/knightlife.paceacademy.org\/knightlynews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/knightlife.paceacademy.org\/knightlynews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/467"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/knightlife.paceacademy.org\/knightlynews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=346454"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/knightlife.paceacademy.org\/knightlynews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/346454\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":346833,"href":"https:\/\/knightlife.paceacademy.org\/knightlynews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/346454\/revisions\/346833"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/knightlife.paceacademy.org\/knightlynews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/346762"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/knightlife.paceacademy.org\/knightlynews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=346454"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/knightlife.paceacademy.org\/knightlynews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=346454"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/knightlife.paceacademy.org\/knightlynews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=346454"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}