Looking at your calendar, you see that Feb. 14 is coming up. You go through the contacts on your phone to look for the perfect date, praying that you are not alone again this year on Valentine’s Day. Upon frantically scrolling through with no luck, you are about to give up until you remember this blonde, quirky girl with whom you had a previous encounter. Her name is Kate Snyder, and she has been named the Knightly News’ Most Eligible Bachelorette for 2018.
As Snyder reminisces on Valentine’s Day 2017, a single tear runs down her face. She remembers a little too clearly that fateful night of listening to “My Chemical Romance” while sitting alone in her room, munching on Tide pods. However, this year for Valentine’s Day, she is ready for a date with a real man. She is looking for a guy with a great personality and a pet cat, and who enjoys fondue for two. He must also be shorter than Kate and look like Guy Fieri.
Although she has not met someone that embodies all of these characteristics, she believes that this ideal man is out there. “I am going to do everything in my power to find him,” said Snyder. When she finds him, her desire is for him to take her to play a big game of Twister, accompanied by her local pastor.
On a daily basis, she tends to generously swipe right on Tinder and watch “The Joy of Painting” with Bob Ross. “Bob is just so enticing,” said Snyder. “His squirrels especially infatuate me.” However, her routine changes on the weekends. During her favorite time of the week, she frequently attends séances and speed dating events. Nevertheless, most of the speed dating rounds have proven unsuccessful.
For people eager to learn more about Kate, she describes herself as quirky and angsty. “I’d also say I’m pretty funny,” she said. Her fetishes are “most things” and the soundtrack to her life is “Pocketful of Sunshine” by Natasha Bedingfield. “I think I embody this song immensely,” said Snyder. “I bleed rays of sun.”
Be sure to catch Kate while she’s still single and you may get lucky, like senior Jonathan Rushton during his freshman year. However, Kate’s biggest regret is texting him. One last thought that Kate wanted the Pace Academy men to know is that she is “here for a good time not a long time.”