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Five or Die

Junior Marissa Schwarz turns her back to her games and electronics to study for her AP classes.

Students will no longer be slacking off in AP classes at Pace Academy. Average grades and average students are no longer accepted. Headmaster Fred Assaf, in consultation with Head of Upper School Michael Gannon, has decided that any score under a five on the AP exam is no longer eligible for passing the class. “Pace is not hard enough, and kids are taking advantage,” said Mr. Assaf. “For example, Helen Smith’s AP European History class is way too easy, and it’s unacceptable for any student to get below a five.”

Despite outrage from students, the majority of teachers are content with this new rule. “I totally agree with Mr. Assaf,” said Ms. Smith. “My whole career I have tried to make my class as clear and organized as I could, and students are slacking off. I’ve never been one to like to fail students but it is getting out of hand.” Other teachers, however, are not happy with the current change. “I’m upset by the new rule because I feel like students will purposefully get fours on my English exam just to be in my class again,” said AP English Literature teacher Bailey Player.

From now on, if a student scores below a five on any AP Exam they will have to retake the class the following year. “I know for a fact I will get a five on the AP Chem exam because the class is so easy, but in any other class this rule makes it impossible to advance in my curriculum,” said junior Cameron Perchik. Other students are furious as well. They think that Pace is already too hard and this change will take away from their personal lives and extracurricular activities.

“My tennis career is going to be completely ruined,” said sophomore Aaron Pascaner. “All of this extra work is going to take away from my two-hour-a-day practice time. I need the practice if I want to get an athletic scholarship.” Starting now, Pace students need to put down their phones and pick up their textbooks, because everyone’s lives are officially over at the beginning of next year.