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Five Minutes With Shelly the Turtle

Mr. Canfield received Shelly a few months ago and they have been best friends ever since.  Photo: Graham Hurley

Knightly News: So you are a turtle and you can talk?

Turtle: I breathe and sleep Pace Academy. I know and see everything here. I have witnessed multiple people who have lost their chair for yawning in Mr. Canfield’s class, which is one of his biggest pet peeves. You wanna know the best part? I have yawned thousands of times without Mr. Canfield noticing.

KN: So, Shelly, what do you think of Mr. Canfield’s class?

S: I honestly can’t stand it since I’ve lived through each discussion multiple times. I even have nightmares about Marc Antony’s speech. I know all of the vocabulary words by memory and every single grammar question as well.

KN: So, how do you like your fellow classmates?

S: I am picked up almost every day by these kids, and I feel violated all of the time. They call it “petting” but they don’t know how it feels. I honestly hate it. It’s sick to be a turtle, but there are definitely downsides. Like, I can’t move out of my box, and if I did, it would take me years to get to the door.

KN: Interesting. How was your life before Pace?

S: I mean I feel slightly safer than how I was in the wild. I was close to starving to death once and I had to fight and kill a hawk to survive. Extremely injured, I was walking around and then Mr. Canfield found me.

KN: What an admirable story! What do you think about Mr. Canfield as a person?

S: He’s an awesome guy for saving me and he’s quite funny sometimes. But honestly, he should spend more time with me when he’s in the halls. That’d be fun. He’s the only person who I don’t mind picking me up.

KN: You are going to be with Mr. Canfield for a while. Are you excited for Driver’s Ed?

S: I’ve heard many things about it since I’ve been around so many of the students here. However Driver’s Ed is pointless for me since my arms are the size of a thumb.

KN: Well, Shelly it was nice talking to you. I hope you stay around.

S: Yeah, I hope I don’t die as fast as his other pets that I’ve heard about.