Pace Academy Haunted

The Pace Academy upper school has become haunted with ghosts and ghouls.

The Pace Academy Upper School has become haunted with ghosts and ghouls. Photo: Chris Howard

Boo! If you’re currently in the Pace Academy Arthur M. Blank Family Upper School, you probably think it’s approaching Halloween. That’s right, because there are ghosts everywhere. Now I know what you are all thinking, “ghosts aren’t real,” but newsflash, they are and they’re invading the Upper School.

These ghosts are mostly dangerous, but others are benign. Some of them just wander around the high school simply looking for a friend, but others can pose a real threat. “As of this morning, I’ve been slimed five times,” said freshman tennis player Joe Hirsch. “The ghosts are beginning to make me late to class!”

Dean of Students Gus Whyte is the one who has had to deal with this mounting problem. “Sliming season has begun,” said Mr. Whyte, frantically. “So many kids are showing up late to class because of these sliming ghosts.” The dean of students, showing his flexibility, has completely altered the disciplinary system. Executive order 9902, nicknamed Code G.H.O.U.L., has permitted students to arrive to class late on account of sliming. Although most ghosts are unrelated to the Pace community, some students claim to have seen the spirits of the still living, but retired Pace faculty. Spirits such as Dr. Link, Dr. K and Dr. Mengert have been spotted quietly colluding in the Upper School. “I didn’t know what they were doing,” said stricken freshman T.J Rafeedie. “But I definitely heard some collusion.”

Students and teachers, after being slimed left and right, have begun to adapt to these circumstances. Kids are now bringing roller skates, skateboards and even hover boards in order to travel quickly through the halls and get to their classes safely. Before the ghosts are dealt with, this system of quick transportation is the best way to avoid sliming.

Yet, one student, junior Jake Movsovitz, has protested this method of avoiding the ghosts. He claims that the source of the haunting derives from the loneliness of the spirits. “They simply want attention,” shouted Jake Movsovitz, emphatically. “By trying to avoid them completely, we are perpetuating the problem.”