With more and more honor code violations occurring this year, the Pace Honor Council, recently renamed the Committee of Pace Safety (CPS), has revised the punishments for honor code violations and other offenses. Dean of Students Matt Hall said, “Students at Pace are delinquents and must be punished properly for their misbehavior.” New punishments will be instituted for all actions that elicit a demerit, tardy, or honor code violation.
Tardies, previously regarded as five freebies to sleep in, will now be punishable for each occurrence. Tardy students will have to stay after school and sit in the FAC for each minute that they are late. If a student reaches the five tardy mark, they will have to come in on Saturday mornings to help Dr. Kasilus. “Students need to stop gallivanting and show up to school on time. Students who are late can help me hunt for fractals around the school; they’re everywhere!” said Dr. Kasilus. Students caught chewing gum will be required to scrape all of the gum off all of the desks in the Upper School under the supervision of Mr. Kates.
The revised policies also stipulate that teachers who report offenses will help assign the punishment. If a student is caught acting like a “sleaze” for being out of dress code, students will be subjected to punishment by Ms. Smith. Punishments can range from cleaning her cats’ litter boxes to having to find students’ lost assignments in the abyss that is her room. If caught talking in the library, students will be subjected to study hall while listening to NPR on full blast. “Do you think the great minds of Voltaire and Rousseau talked in libraries during the Enlightenment? No they did not, and being innately sinful according to Locke, we must all strive to be more like them, or else society will be ruined,” commented Ms. Smith. Ms. Lewis will force students to use a telegraph if they are caught with their phones out or use a gramophone if found listening to their iPods. Other new punishments are modeled after those of former Pace physics teacher, Ms. McKenna. They include doing laps in the hallways, doing pushups in the front of the class, and sitting at the dilapidated desk that is awkwardly placed in the middle of the physics classroom.
These new measures have caused great unrest among students. Calling them unjust, cruel, and unusual, a group of students led by junior Bobby Stonecipher plan on protesting by causing anarchy and undermining the CPS. When asked why these new punishments were created, junior Josh Rogers, member of the CPS, said, “That’s classified.”
By Hayley Silverstein, News Editor ’14
Photo: Hayley Silverstein