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Kingswood Cop Revealed: ST6 [April Fools!]

This week tragedy struck along the West Paces corridor that is many students’ daily route to school each morning. The “Kingswood Cop” who faithfully directs traffic at the intersection of West Paces Ferry and Castlegate Drive (in front of the Kingswood neighborhood) was badly wounded in action from gunfire during a secret night operation in Iran. Yes, you read that last sentence right; the man who students thought was part of Atlanta’s Finest is apparently an undercover operative in the notorious Seal Team 6. This means he was part of the elite CIA special forces counter-terrorism unit that not only killed Osama Bin Laden, but carries out many other covert operations around the world.

The Kingswood officer was using his morning patrol duties as a cover, in case any terrorist cells attempted to ascertain his true identity. According to information released on WikiLeaks, the Kingswood policeman was really the head of the Armor and Weapons Division of Seal Team 6. This means he oversaw all of the guns, ammunition, explosives, and gear of the team. Apparently in a raid to capture a top al-Qaeda member who was planning an attack on U.S. soil, the undercover Kingswood cop was shot twice in the leg by an enemy target who was firing an AK-47. Our officer, despite being wounded, returned fire with his M-16 rifle and fatally shot the enemy. Unfortunately the CIA has informed us that the rest of the mission information is top-secret and classified. As for whether our incredible, amazing, traffic-efficient officer will return to the corner that is his familiar spot, we do not know. We can only hope for a swift recovery for our Purple-Heart-earning, undercover CIA agent, known simply as: The Kingswood Cop.

By Cal Harris, Staff Writer ’12


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