Pilot Program Panics Teachers: iPads to Replace Faculty [April Fools!]

iPad Mania gone too far? Mr Smith replaced by a calculator app. Photo: Claire Quintrell

Citing the announced retirements of veteran teachers such as Ms. Smith, Mr. Hornor, Dr. Kasilus, Mr. Canfield, and Dr. Davidson at the end of the year, the administration has decided to test a radical new approach to teaching. “We felt that this wave of departures really left the door open to some fresh thinking,” Mr. Gannon said, “Given the success of the iPad implementation started by Mr. Hornor, Ms. Stevens, and to a lesser degree, Ms. Smith, we think that the technology is to a point where we can begin phasing out traditional methods of instruction.” He also noted the announcement of the brand new iPad, with its ultra-HD screen and faster processor, which could now easily replace a teacher. “There’s an app for everything, and thus there’s a teacher app,” Mr. Assaf commented.

The new iPad will serve as the engine for teaching, starting in the classes newly vacated by these departures. Students next year will come in to find an iPad lecture waiting for them, possibly aided by notes or relevant pictures and video on the Smartboard. “We are leveraging our existing technical strengths with projectors and Smartboards, and taking another positive step forward. Given our imminent transition to a new Upper School, this pilot program will give us the springboard we need to achieve a full replacement by the time the new building is complete,” Mr. DeRosa said.

The projected cost savings are enormous. Mr. Gannon said, “We can’t project an actual number estimate on how much we’ll save, but think about all the lunches and teacher salaries we can cut from the budget. That leads to lower tuition payments, and means steady income from traditional sources like the auction and the Fall Fair will go farther than ever before in improving the campus and other existing programs.” Mr. Walker pointed out that “fewer computers and iPads are needed to supply the remaining teachers, leaving us more in our budget to purchase more new computers and networking gear each year.” Students can expect fewer demerits in the hall, fewer fractals everywhere, and more glowing screens to fill their lives at the Academy starting next year.

By Simon Wu, Technology Editor ’12

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