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Dr. DuPree Discovers His Roots

How would you react if you had lived a normal life, and then suddenly discovered that it all was lie? Dr. DuPree was forced face this very reality. A month ago, Dr. DuPree saw an add for Ancestry.com. “I did not know much about my origins,” said Dr. DuPree. “I had always been extremely curious though.” After searching for about 20 minutes, Dr. DuPree found his great-grandfather, Baba O’Riley DuPree. “I never knew Baba, but I did know that he came to America a long time ago.” Dr. DuPree discovered that his family immigrated to America in 1902, coming from a small town in Ireland. What Dr. DuPree did not know yet, however, was that the small town, known as Ballybeggen, was actually a safe haven for leprechauns.

“The website told me that I still had family in Ballybeggen,” said Dr. DuPree. “It even gave me a phone number.” The number was for Dr. DuPree’s cousin, Baba O’Riley XXVIII. “After talking for a couple hours, he finally revealed the truth, that all the males in our family are leprechauns,” said Dr. DuPree.

“I wasn’t as surprised as one would expect when he told me,” said Dr. Dupree. “I kind of had a feeling about this.” DuPree thought his life was going to change drastically, but actually not much is different. “I still heavily guard my gold, ride on rainbows whenever I got the chance, and eat a full box of Lucky Charms every morning. All that is different is that I can now spot a four leaf clover from a mile away.” After saving up from stealing gold and selling prized four leaf clovers, Dr. DuPree knew what he had to do, travel to Ballybeggen.

After arriving, Baba picked him up at the airport. “Baba was dressed in leprechaun attire, and so was everyone else there. I was the odd one out.” They first went to fully restock Dr. DuPree’s wardrobe. Once they had Dr. DuPree looking like a leprechaun, they enjoyed a normal day in the life of his ancestors. “First, we woke up to Lucky Charms with added clovers and gold dust. Then, we went frolicking through the hills. To end the day, we staged a massive heist to rob the biggest leprechaun gang in Ballybeggen.” They successfully stole over $100,000 in pure, 24 karat leprechaun gold, which they then spent on beer and more Lucky Charms.

Dr. DuPree was forced to end his adventure and come back to America. He ditched the suit, spent the gold, and began eating Cheerios. Before the release of this article, he had not told anyone about his background and his adventures in Ireland.

After finding out he was a Leprechaun, Dr. Dupree began exploring the rolling hills of Ireland. Photo: Landon Goldstein

After finding out he was a leprechaun, Dr. Dupree explored the rolling hills of Ireland. Photo: Landon Goldstein